Problems

Well for the past 10 years I have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. I found the what Michael David Crawford wrote @ http://www.geometricvisions.com/schizoaffective-disorder/ was very helpful in stating the fact that I too suffer from the diagnoses and have for the past 10 years. I feel like it has been longer but I only sought help for it 10 years ago and here is where I will post some of my problems to help others and maybe others yet still find help to understand that they are not alone. it seems that we are all alone but yet we are truly one of God's creatures we just happen to be different then what society has said is normal. Maybe those that do not understand that we have a mental disorder then maybe he can learn to live peacefully with those of us that have them.

Let me start out saying that for the past 3 weeks the voices that are not there but seem so real to me have been telling me to make my loving wife leave me and that she would be better off without me. Then things in my life have gone horribly wrong and that there is no way to lift myself out of it. But the wife and I sat down and had a long talk about some of my problems then the voices seem to have subsided. It helps to have a therapist with you when there are problems going on in your life that you seem to think are getting you down and out or have the habit of starting the voices in the little soft voices to tell us that what we are hearing are real and the fear that we are feeling are real and that we need to self preserve.

I had things said to me that I do not want to do but sometimes it seems that if I do them that the voices will go away. We all have that inner voice that we run our ideas off of but the voices are outside my head and do different things and get the visions to start where I see things that only I can see but it to is on the outside of my head.

Socks

Well I started making socks for dad about the begining of the month. And I finished them last night. The wife says that they are itchy, but I put them on and they were not. The wife thinks that it is cool that I did it at the same time. I got a 40 inch circlar knitting needle and some wool-ease from lion brand to make the socks on the needle it was fun and it was done at the same time it took about a week and a half to do it. I had to frog the project 1 times half way though due to the fact that I could not keep a knit 3 purl 1 pattern. i was trying it out with the child sock at first to see if I could do it and when I found out that I could I started on dads socks two and a weeks ago. so here is the picture of the finished projocts

Still smoking

Still smoking and feeling depressed about it. I do not know what is wrong with me and why I can not quit smoking. Well I am making a nice present for my mom for Christmas do not know what to get her for mothers day which happens to be on the 8th of May this year. What I wanted to get her will not be ready by then, so I am going to have to think of something else. Well I need a 40 inch circular needle to do two socks at the same time, which I have a book to teach me how to do. I thought that a 29 inch circular needle was needed but I was wrong that's what I get for thinking. Well Went on vacation on the 12th of March and been back since the 19th of March.

Just have not thought of anything I could blog about. I had a great time, we rode on the Disney Magic boat and went to St Maartin, St Tomas, and Cast Away Cay. My poor wife got sea sick the first two nights out and then when I bought the sea bands she started to feel a lot better. I seem to have stuffed myself every chance I got, which was so often that I did not go hungry. I did not need a mid-night snack like I do when I am at home. I was supposed to wright in a journal every day but gave up on that idea very quickly do to the fact of all the fun food ,that I forgot was called that same day, to eat. I sat in the smoking section much of the time and talked with a few people. There was a coffee/tea bar that was for 18 years or older and an adult swimming pool, the kids had there own places to be so I did not happen to see too many of them, although much of the place was taken by families.

I think some days that it would be nice to have some kids but the way this world is going I just do not think I want to raise a child in the wacky world that we live in. Just thinking of children in the middle eastern countries trying to get out from under dictators and rumors of wars to come and our own country not able to hold its head high and proud any where in the world because the rest of the world looks down on us is wrong. I was in the military we were called every time some one was doing something bad in the world. So why is it that every time some thing comes up we have to be the one to got our heads out of the fox hole. Why can not France or some one else do it. Poor Japan had that Tsunami the day before we left and they are still digging out I have not heard that anyone has gone out to help them but the Americans, sure send money but not people. I will get down now.

Patterns

Looking up patterns on Lion Bran Yarn. There are over 3000 patterns on there free. Found a new hat for my dad and one for my m-i-l. I can not wait to knit them up for christmas. Sitting at the library looking up things and waiting for my computer to update. Not going to good Been here an hour and only updated 5 things so far. Well 4 things more now and have no idea how long it will take. Well I finally made another blanket for my wife. Here is a picture of it. I just went color after color. Now I am making one for myself with the new hook that I got at hobby lobby. Well me and the wife decided to make this blanket longer and it sits about 1 and a half foot shorter then the bed then I will crochet a border around it too.

Dog Toys

Well we go on a Disney Boat Trip in March, and the wife wanted me to make a dog toy for the fish extender program that we are doing. So here they are. They are for this working dog on the boat. It took me most of the day to do the two of them it was fun but i do not like how they turned out I screwed up on the first one so many time that I lost count and then sewed it together with the outside facing out. The second one I got right all the way around they are cool. I hope that the dog plays with them insted of tears them apart. I do not think that they will hold up to rough play but I do not know.

Disney

Went to Disney on Saturday, first we went to Magic Kingdom and it was full. So we decided to go to Epcot which was also full. They had a fun run going on and it that was why everyone was there. The parking lots were full and we did not want to park in the far back. So we went to downtown Orlando and looked for the Disney store they have in two different outlet malls. We found one and finally got to the other outlet mall about an hour and half later. We never got to go into the second Disney store due to no parking people were parking on the grass. So we left that on and got back to Disney in about a half hour. We went to Epcot it was still full but we got to park up front walking distance to the park. I rode the Captain EO experience. It is an old Michael Jackson show, it was a good video if Michael was not in it. I also rode the Figment ride. Me and the wife like that ride then we did not want to walk around the world but we did any way. We wanted to eat at the outside restaurant at Mexico but the tables were all full, so we ate at the French sandwich shop. Then completed the circle. Got some stale popcorn from Canada, then came home.

No pictures

Well I forgot to take pictures of the things i made for everyone. But I gave mom a hatscarf and a pair of pocket book slippers. Dad a earflaphat and a change purse. M-i-l got some little candy corn coasters. M-i-lc got a hat. Sister and her husband got a blanket.