Yesterdays fishing trip

Well yesterday I tried to go fishing. I had to pick up the dogs meds at Walmart, that was not there. Then I went to my home pond and when I got all the way down to the water it started thundering so I had to leave. I decided that I would go today and woke up early and started my day, but I was having stomach problems and ate, feel asleep until noon. I had to take the plastic bags to Walmart and take some stuff to be donated once that was done then I came home at 3pm ate again and it was 5pm. So tomorrow I will get a chance to drown some worms.

The problem with the world

Well another day of crocheting away the time. I had a semi good day today the voices was all I heard. They were just repeating everything I said drove my about a foot up the wall. Just felt okay today not fair but not bad, just somewhere in between. To scared to go out and having whispering things in the ears that are repeats of what I said is not that bad of a day. Sometimes I wish that I was "normal", but really what is "normal". Maybe I am normal and the rest of the world is not. What if everyone has a problem, but are to afraid to say what it is. What if everyone has a problem with their mind and have told someone that was not paying attention, and marked it off as a the drinking or drugs. People should look for the underlining problem of drinking or drugs, they may find someone with something wrong and trying to cover it up. I drank like a fish before I was diagnosed. I heard voices and saw things that were not really happening and now they say that it is schizoaffective. I was also molested while I was a kid no one new and I was ashamed that it happened. Why should I be ashamed when the assholes that did it to me think that they are good people. Why can no one seem to ask a kid what is on their mind, Oh I Forgot that "CHILDREN SOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD." What a loud of bullshit. They just do not want what they are doing to the child to be known. Like with this thing that a female child that is being molested by her dad should have to get his permission to tell someone that her baby is his. That and Women have no rights except what her boyfriend to husband want her to think. Why is it Okay for men to get a vasectomy and it takes two kids and the husbands okay to let a female have her tubes tide. Is it because that men can have affaires and if a woman gets pregnant by someone other then her husband it is his right to kill her. What a load of shitheads that live in this world.

Ramblings

I have decided to stop playing magic. The locking up the board sent it over the tipping point. I go to club when I am feeling good, which is not often. I am working on three blankets, two doilies, a wash cloth, and a hat that I am working from top down, which is my practice for toe up socks. I probably have others that I can not remember. I finished one blanket that is 80 inches square {really I have not been finishing projects, I start one and soon it becomes a UFP (un-finished project)} but I finally got that one done started it 2 years ago. I really need to finish all the ones that have already started. I have been going through my stash and finding more projects and have not found everything yet I don't think.

The voices and the visions have been coming and going for the past year in a half. Some times I think my problems are the dead that have not pasted on. Sometimes I think that they are stuck here to torment me. Some are small like mice and squirrels and as big as people. They say that the animals do not know that they exist but I wonder if they are right about that, because the small ones would not be here like a big one. The voices seem to be coming from another room and there is no one here. Then when I am not guarded the visions invade my dreams. Some people would call them demons. I just call them my shadows.

Time for some random thoughts. Why do people ask why the sky is blue? When does time end, when we pass on or when the universe ends? I think we go on even after death but when we want to come back we find a new vessel. If we do not believe in something does it not exist? Is UFO's one person invasion from long ago and now everyone thinks it is true. The final thought of the day... Are people real or the figment of somethings imagination.